What is holding us back from expressing courage, compassion, and connection in our daily lives? The introduction to Daring Greatly by Brené Brown explains that leaders, workers, and parents want to live out these virtues. Yet, we’re impeded by our culture of scarcity. In Chapter 1, Brené shares:
We want to dare greatly. We’re tired of the national conversation centering on “What should we fear?” and “Who should we blame?” We all want to be brave.
Looking at Narcissism Through The Lens of Vulnerability
When I look at narcissism through the vulnerability lens, I see the shame-based fear of being ordinary. I see the fear of never feeling extraordinary enough to be lovable, to belong, or to cultivate a sense of purpose. …I see the cultural messaging everywhere that says that an ordinary life is a meaningless life.
Scarcity: The Never-Enough Problem
Lynne Twist writes: For me, and for many of us, our first waking thought of the day is “I didn’t get enough sleep.” The next one is “I don’t have enough time.” Whether true or not, that thought of not enough occurs to us automatically before we even think to question or examine it. We spend most of our hours and the days of our lives hearing, explaining, complaining, or worrying about what we don’t have enough of…Before we even sit up in bed, before our feet touch the floor, we’re already inadequate, already behind, already losing, already lacking something. And by the time we go to bed at night, our minds are racing with a litany of what we didn’t get, or didn’t get done, that day. We go to sleep burdened by those thoughts and wake up to the reverie of lack…This internal condition of scarcity, tis mind-set of scarcity, lives at the very heart of our jealousies, our greed, our prejudice, and our arguments with life.”
The Source of Scarcity are Shame, Comparison, and Disengagement.
The counter-approach to living in scarcity is not about abundance. In fact, I think abundance and scarcity are two sides of the same coin. The opposite of “never enough” isn’t abundance or “more than you could ever imagine.” The opposite of scarcity is enough, or what I call Wholeheartedness.”
Pondering scarcity dovetails with my thoughts on burden-layers and narcissism . At some point in life, to be whole and loving and connected and happy, I found (and am still finding) my enough in my husband, children, family, friends, dog, cat, neighbors, faith, food, baseball, and beer. Living an ordinary life can be extraordinarily meaningful when we do so with great daring and love.
Next in this series, Chapter 2: Debunking the Vulnerability Myths. For previous posts in this series, check out my Daring Greatly tag.
Are you sick of feeling afraid? Was there a moment in your life when you decided that enough is enough? Do you live, or want to live, a whole-hearted life?
Daring greatly ~~~~~~~~ Angie Mc