Just a spoonful of kindness helps the criticism go down. Last week I received feedback from two readers that my blog wasn’t functional from the readers’ perspective. My blink response was, “Crap.” Emotionally, who wants to feel the sting of sucking? But my next response was more reasonable, “Is this true?”
Criticism isn’t constructive when it is a lie. You’re ugly. Prove it. You’re too old. Prove it. You’re too skinny. Prove it. You’re arrogant. Prove it. You’re insensitive. Prove it. You’re writing-art-project-program-music-business-skill-post isn’t good enough. Prove it. Prove that this is about me, something related to me, or something I control, and I’ll listen.
Sure enough, my blog template isn’t as responsive as I would like. Sparing you details, I can now see where it lacked ease of access, especially an easy way to view my latest posts.
Criticism isn’t constructive when it comes from someone with no credibility or rightful authority. You want to tell me how to parent my children but you have no children and you have never worked with or studied children? Move on. You are concerned about my (fill in the blank) but you aren’t taking care of your (fill in the blank)? Move on. You aren’t my boss, my loving family member, my true friend? Move on.
Feedback from an experienced and well-received blogger is priceless. It’s a free private consultation. A mentoring moment. A gem of wisdom. A gift.
Criticism isn’t constructive when it’s mean. Direct -> “You look hideous in that dress! Well I’m just saying.” Indirect -> “You look sick. Are you OK?” Cue sad face of false concern.
My two blog readers could not have been more kind. One discussed this matter with me on his blog. The other shot me an email. I appreciate the privacy. Both started and ended the conversation with sugar. I always appreciate true sweetness.
Are you open to constructive criticism? Do you give constructive criticism? When was the last time you received or gave constructive criticism? Can you share an example of a false, no credibility, no authority, or mean, criticism you received? How did you handle it?
I’ll follow-up this post with one about putting good feedback into action. In the mean time, look for something new here at Family Life Is More.
Hope your week is off to a great start! ~~~~~~~~ Angie Mc