Charity is the form, mover, mother and root of all the virtues. ~ Thomas Aquinas #quote
It’s the day after Mother’s Day and I’m tempted to frame my lack of a Mother’s Day blog post as a small failure, considering that I write and consult about family life. Oh, what a missed opportunity!
After a lovely day spent with my husband, children, extended family and friends, I was about to finish this post when my teen needed me. At eighteen, he’s a man so his true need for me is diminishing and morphing. As it should be. Last night, I was happy to be needed.
Waking up this morning, I wasn’t happy to remember that I didn’t post. I also didn’t get enough sleep. Oh, the pressure to get a full night’s sleep!
I kicked myself and reactively dragged my husband along for the short and loathsome ride. Instead of helping my husband to get off to a good start, I dragged him down. Oh, the frustration of not holding my tongue!
Within minutes of waking, a sense of failure was creeping into my Monday, tempting me again to project the same into the week. But did I actually fail? I could spend hours on this philosophical and practical question. Days. Years.
Instead, I’m banging out this post and gaining perspective as my exasperated fingers fly across the keyboard. Here’s what I was going to share yesterday.
I love my mother. Goodness knows I love being a mother. And this sweet little holiday called Mother’s Day? Love it, too.
While the mother-child relationship isn’t little and is sometimes bittersweet, setting aside a day to give flowers, send cards, make a phone call, or serve brunch is lovely. Setting aside a day to pray, remember, and forgive if needed, is powerful.
The mother-child relationship is mysterious and big. The greatest gift one person can give to another is life. Once life is given, there are no limits…
Then no more words would flow because I know the truth about life and limits. There are real physical, emotional, social, economic, energy, educational, and time limits to mention a few. So let me try again.
Once life is given, we don’t control the mother-child relationship as much as we dance within it. There are many different dances, some beautiful, silly, seasonal, or tragic. Most are a mix. But the mother-child dance is always purposeful, challenging us to move forward, grow, learn, and mature. Love is the biggest dance of all and can overcome any human failing, big or little, real or perceived. Whether we dance the role of mother, child, or both, we can choose to love mothers, children, and ourselves. With relief, I will love on the morning after Mother’s Day.
What are your thoughts on Mother’s Day, mothering, being a mother’s child? How do you deal with your failures, real or perceived?
Have a lovely Monday ~~~~~~~~ Angie Mc
Family Love Does More 
Life can get complicated. Days can get so busy, you hardly remember what was planned. Don’t beat yourself up over not getting it all done. Intentions count. I think that is what your loved ones remember.
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You are so very right, Jovina! Loving intentions combined with loving actions add up over time, even when the little details don’t add up as hoped for or the clock runs out at the end of the day 🙂
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Oh, do not beat yourself up!! Easier said than done, I know….I have three blogs and I beat myself up terribly if I do not keep up. But, with each day, I am finding more and more grace for myself…people around here are great and understanding. I am glad to be back on this blog again and to have found you still here. Thank you, Angie! I look forward to following along in your journey. 🙂
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Let’s roll 🙂
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Maybe I ‘ve got it wrong, Angie, but I think Mother’s Day is about allowing our children and spouses to show how they value and need us, and that’s what you did by spending the day with them instead of hiding away to finish your post. So, you made the right choice. It’s not necessary for mothers to get everything perfect in order to be loved. Being kind to yourself, first of all.
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Exactly, Faith. Letting Mother’s Day unfold each year and over the years is the way to go. Being in a house full of men this year, I was especially please with their efforts, to include chocolate dipped fruit! And peach sangria 🙂 And no worries about perfection here, lol. What a relief! Being kind to yourself, and encouraging others to be kind to themselves as well, is the way to go. Sounds like you had a lovely Mother’s Day because you, too, are love ❤ (And I do hope there was no snow on the ground 🙂 )
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Love the line about not controlling the mother- child relationship but rather we dance with it. So true. It leads and we follow. It’s so dynamic . Great perspective!
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DYNAMIC! That’s the word! Thank you for the word, dropping by, and for your encouragement 🙂
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I always love your posts 🙂
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Thank you and likewise! Your sense of humor is contagious 🙂
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Thanks 😉
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My privilege ❤
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Your post reminded me of my mother, as a kid I remember my mother didn’t like any attention directed toward her, but we always celebrated with her. She was slow to warm about celebrating but always accepted our gifts and let us serve her in some manner. It was a dance that started off awkward and slow but always moved in a warm and loving embrace. Thanks for the post and the memories.
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Your mother gave me you; what more can I ask for?! And, I really appreciate how your family was very generous with gifts and going out to eat for celebrations. Nancy was most comfortable in the background, but how beautiful that she was the the (reluctant) center of attention each Mother’s Day. May her soul rest in peace. And thank you, honey, for stopping by ❤
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Happy Mother’s Day Angie. Have a great an amazing week.
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Will do, Sylvester, and thank you! I’m grateful to your mother for bringing you to the world so that you can share your gifts 🙂
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Thank you, my smile is very wide at the moment : )
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Dear Angie…the last paragraph is so brilliant…so touching…may I quote you in my status on Facebook, giving you credit and pointing to this blog?…I don’t know blog etiquette….The dancing struck such a chord with me. I have been reflecting on the flow of life, the river sometimes calm and still….then the rapids requiring hard work and help and a guide! Life is in motion…love the dance idea as it is one of my favorite things to do…makes me happy to look at life and relationships this way! Happy Week!
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Diane, I’m flattered that you want to share my writing; please do. How about we steer clear of the rapids for a bit?! And, how about we find some excuse to dance. Can you believe it’s almost a year since “the summer of wedding receptions?” Yes, let’s dance 🙂
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Yes, let’s!!!
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(((Diane)))
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Eloquent as always, dear Angie. 🙂 But, no worries about posting. See, you didn’t post about motherhood because you were busy *being* a mother. So, it’s a win. 😀 You were living your blog. Your son is way more important than a post, so you did the perfect thing.
Happy 1st Grandmother’s Day to you! *hugs* ❤
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Thank you, dear! That whole mothering thing rather than writing about mothering thing works for me 🙂
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