You know that small hearted person with little conscience who gets into a position of relative power and uses it to make your life miserable? Ya, That Guy…That Gal. Well, he was on the attack again, this time going after a dear friend of mine.
When watching movies, my nine-year-old son will say, “There’s The Good Guy, mom!” My friend is The Good Guy, literally. He will give you the baseball equipment out of his van. He will volunteer hours and hours to better his community. He is a son, husband, and father extraordinaire. He might as well wear all white and ride a white horse. That would make me laugh and he is very good at making me laugh.
So, That Guy happens to be my friend’s work supervisor. That Guy did some unethical stuff and tried to make my friend pay for it. My friend may even lose his job over the mess.
But here’s the kicker. My friend isn’t taking this personally.
My friend sees right through That Guy and is watching That Guy’s game unfold as if he was watching his Chicago Bears play against the Buffalo Bills on a nice Sunday. (Get ’em next time, Bears.)
My friend is able to not take the job shenanigans personally because he is a clear thinker. He thinks first (That Guy is out to hurt anyone in his path) therefore he doesn’t feel overly hurt beyond the usual initial sting of injustice. Because he doesn’t get dragged down by injured party emotions, however righteous, he is able to move forward swiftly, smartly, and with confidence to protect himself and fight back.
I’m inspired to check my own personalizing of big and small events and interactions. For example, when I’m not at my best I may read my husband’s short reply as impatience with me when actually he is distracted and thinking of a problem at work. Or I may be tempted to feel that my college-aged son has forgotten me, instead of empathizing with his new student status. (Aiden, call your mother!)
I’m rooting for my friend and all my friends, including you, who are facing That Guy. He counts on us to get all tangled up in our pain, confusion, anger, fear, or self-scrutiny. Not happening. We can get a step ahead of his toxic ways by not being derailed by emotion. We can use our confidence and desire for justice to think clearly. Clear thoughts will help provide the answers we need to address any difficult challenge.
That Guy, you messed with the wrong Good Guy.
Have you faced That Guy? How did you deal with him or her?
Hope your week is off to a strong start! ~~~~~~~~ Angie Mc
Family Love Does More 
Angie, I look sooo forward to sitting and talking with you about your postings. They’re really good And oh yes…I’ve had to deal with “THAT GUY/GAL” more than I want to think about. So now I try really hard not too. Hope you’re safe from the flooding. Thinking of you. Looking forward to a catch-up chat.(: Love you, Mom
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~~~waving to you, Mom 🙂 It will be a ton of fun to talk IN PERSON so soon ❤ Devin, Henry, and I are having a blast IN PERSON, hooray!
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I usually tune That Guy out and do what I have to do…karma comes a calling sooner or later 🙂
Has the flooding in Arizona affected you and the fam in any way? Just checking.
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Tune out. Healthy detachment 🙂 Thanks so much for asking, Sylvester. My home and family are safe. I was on my way to the airport early Monday morning when all hell was breaking loose. Amazingly, no flight delay for me. But I sure was praying that all desert dwellers would be safe in such an unusual downpour ❤
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That’s good to hear. I saw all the flooding on the news and thought of you guys/gal 🙂
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This is a terrific blog post, like, we have a CHOICE in how we respond to people, eureka! 😉
Love your new look, very focused writing….it is all so well done, bravo, Sister!!!
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~~~~waving to you, Diana! You made my day 🙂 I’m still getting to know the interface of this blog and I’m looking to become a better blogger, so any and all feedback on that intention is welcome!!! How’s the family? A big hug to Lily from me, please ❤
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I really like the entire feel of it, and your writing is thoughtful and spot on.
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This is beautiful sentiment here, Angie Mc Fly. If only all of us could handle That Guy with the cool and aplomb of your Good Guy, the That Guys of the world would get their comeuppance and the Good Guys of the world would be victorious. Oh, Happy Day that would be. Thanks for sharing your vision.
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You are too kind to me, Mark, and I’m most grateful. You are also right, a happy day it WILL be! In the mean time, good guys sure do make good friends. Hope your week is off to a GOOD start 🙂
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It’s getting there, Angie Mc. I was thrilled to see a new post by you, That made me feel very good. 🙂
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I love your friend’s attitude! Wish we could all have that same sense of clear thinking when it was needed. It’s so easy to get wrapped up in the emotion of the thing. Sometimes, the shenanigans with That Guy truly are personal though, and that’s when clear thinking is MOST needed, IMO. In my (long ago) dealings with That Guy, divorce court was necessary and I sure do wish I’d been able to be as clear a thinker as your friend, lol.
Unfortunately, it seems that once a That Guy, always a That Guy.
Prayers for your friend that Good Guys prevail. 🙂
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Sadly, you are so right, Ness. I, too, have been on the receiving end of very personal attacks. Messing with the wrong women, right?! And, I’m happy to know that you are with a Good Guy now ❤
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Well said, Angie! Yes, messing with the wrong women. 🙂
❤
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To de-personalise is so difficult and yet so rewarding when we can do it !
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You are so right! It is such a little/big victory to not feed That Guy’s agenda. So there 🙂
Thanks for dropping by and I’m pleased to meet you. Your blog is lovely, refreshing. I look forward to reading more from you.
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Hey Angie.
Don’t know how I didn’t see this comment space before, but now, watch out!
I think not taking much of anything others do personally is a great life lesson. I know when I stopped taking it personally when someone cut me off or wouldn’t let me merge onto the highway, my driving stress went WAY down. I have been tested recently by those who are clearly on the phone while driving, but mostly i’ve held firm to letting that stuff go.
Your friend is so smart. And so rare. We can all learn from him.
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Driving! Perfect example of how to practice not taking things personally for sure. Yet, like my friend, when our very life is endangered or our ability to provide for our family or our personal dignity is attacked, how can it not “feel” personal. Time to push past the feelings and think clearly for our own sake.
….Hey you on the cell phone…ya you…put the phone down and focus on the road!
Just had to get that off of my chest somewhere 🙂
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